Feeling Nervous

What makes you nervous? I get nervous sometimes. Nervousness is connected to anxiety. It is something that is felt in the body. What triggers it? Anxiety is related to fear, so there may be be fear-based triggers- fear of stigma, fear of embarrassment, fear of rejection, fear of failure, fear of fill-in-the-blank. I’m trying to remember the last time I was nervous. I remember that feeling of nervousness when a crush walks into the room. Why do we get nervous around a crush? Do we feel threatened by them? Maybe our ego is threatened if they don’t respond to us the way we are hoping. 

I have started attending a contact improvisation group at my friend Neena’s house. Contact improv is interacting physically with the environment and with other people in a way of expression. I would describe it as something that reminds me of modern dance but it definitely feels yogic at times. I can recall a time when the music being played was orchestral and I was so in the moment with the person I was improvising with. Our arms slid down each other’s arms as we rotated our bodies, back to back, making slow, methodical movements to the music, like waves of the ocean. Ending up on the floor with me supporting his weight, back arched over mine, I felt the strength in my legs as I lifted him up off the ground. I felt strong in that moment, and supportive. I liked the way I felt. 

At other times during the music I danced alone. When the pace was quick and elated I shook my entire body. I knew this was a somatic exercise and I felt I was releasing trapped energy in my body. When I had finished I felt better, like my nervous system was reset in a way. I heard someone say today that there are times when a group of people regulates their nervous system together such as at a concert or listening to storytelling together. Last night at contact improv, I felt we were all aligned in our nervous systems being restored to homeostasis, a sense of calmness and soothing came over all of us. A young woman nursed a baby and vocalized music that seemed to channel the divine mother, rocking us to sleep. 

Nervous. Nervous system. Nervousness. It’s a survival mechanism and a fight-or-flight response has its place. When we are truly in a threatening situation, we need that jolt, that adrenaline rush, but we shouldn’t be feeling that way all the time. If that is the case and we can’t seem to stop that feeling of nervousness from coming over us there are things we can do to help ourselves get better. Hypervigilance and anxiety really take a toll on our sense of well being if we stay in that state for a long time.